5 years ago today, I had brain surgery to remove a pesky chordoma tumor. Today is Tumor Free Day + 5 years. Hooray!!! Life is good!

The Rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying you want to do the meme.


2. I'll respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.


3. You should update your LJ with the answers to the questions.


4. You should include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.


5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

I know I still owe some people questions, and I still owe answers to at least thealiwoman. Do I owe anyone else answers?

( The Questions )

Sinus and loose screw removal surgery went well. Only a little bit sore, and home again already.

However, I didn't think about the fact that I would be pretty limited in what I can eat, and that even a one night hospital stay can really wear you out. I have to cancel my planned seder for this week. I just can't handle it right now. Even though I have Friday off. I think I'm going to still be recuperating and sleeping!

So, no seder this year, but there are many years to come.

Life has been busy, but in a good way!

I have been working rediculous hours at work, and though the amount of time I'm spending there isn't fun, the work itself is interesting, so I haven't felt the need to blow up quite yet... All signs point to this 60 hour a week schedule continuing through the end of June, after which I may be doing a bit of traveling for the training of our Sales force. That is fun, but tiring, too.

Over the weekend, I bought a brand new 2006 Ford Fusion V6 SEL in Titanium Green. I L-O-V-E it!

It turns out I have a screw loose. (But didn't we know that already?) It seems that one of the titanium screws from my brain surgery has got an infection around it, and it's right near my sinuses, and it's probably why I've been so miserably sick all winter. Dr. Constantino, the ENT involved with my brain surgery, is going to remove the offending screw and a part of the titanium plate on April 6, as well as doing some additional work to open up my sinus passages. It is not nearly as big a deal as the brain surgery was, of course, and I will be glad to be able to breathe normally again. I'll be in the hospital just one night, and only because I am coming from out-of-town. It should be pretty simple.

I'd like to start having Friday night Shabbat dinners at my house around 8 pm. Realistically, I should wait until after April 7, because I need to do some serious work on my kitchen if I'm going to have people over for a meal, and I just don't have much free time between now and when I'll be in the hospital. But consider this as an invitation if you are interested. Ness, I'll keep 'em super-kosher for you :)

I think, for now, that's it! Au revoir!

I have this rediculous unfounded fear that my tumor is returning.

Makes no sense at all, but it's been distracting me terribly all day long.

How's that for a first post in 8 months? Blah!

I don't have to go to Boston for Proton Beam radiation!

Full details can be found on my web page:

1. Visit http://www.TheStatus.com/
   
2. Click on Visit a Patient Page
   
3. Use Last Name Finn and Password april8
   

And now, back to my regularly scheduled life :)

Brain surgery and 7 days in the hospital, not including anesthesia and surgeons' fees: $60,312.20

Estimated Insurance Coverage: $17,416.44

Actual Insurance Coverage: $77,728.64

Being over and done with brain surgery with absolutely no side effects: Priceless

I just can't get over the fact that the insurance company paid more than they were billed. They must have sent payment for other charges, too, that aren't on this particular statement. And the hospital expected them to pay less than a third of what was billed. Wow.

So Thursday afternoon, I get a call from Dr. Sen's assistant Maria. She tells me that she's getting together my films and reports to send to Dr. Liebsch. I say, "You mean they haven't been sent yet?" And she tells me that they will go out that day and Dr. Liebsch should have them by Monday. Argh! So basically I have a whole wasted week behind me, but at least it is behind me. Here's hoping that I hear something Monday evening :)

In other news, I've been doing well with my pledge to do some exercise every day. Tuesday, I walked briefly with Rob. Wednesday I skipped, but I made up for it on Thursday by walking in the mall with Liz and then going to dance class. Yesterday Rob and I went to the driving range again. I'm not nearly as sore today as I was last time. That's good!

My left ear is hurting. I hope I'm not getting an ear infection. That would suck.

For those of you who may not have heard, I went to what I had hoped was the final visit in this brain tumor saga of mine this past Tuesday. While there, Dr. Sen looked at my recent MRI scans and said they looked quite excellent, as clean as we could hope them to be. However, to decide about sending me for radiation in Boston, he wants to consult with Dr. Liebsch, the radiation oncologist in Boston. I don't resent this consultation at all, but I had called a few weeks before my appointment to see if I should get an extra set of films to send to Dr. Liebsch. I was told it wasn't necessary. Ah well, what's a few more days? Hopefully I will know something definite in the next day or two.

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have to have radiation for two big reasons. First, since Dr. Sen removed the bone that the tumor was growing from, I'm hoping there's not really anything there to radiate. Second, if we use radiation now, it's gone from our bag of tricks for the future should this tumor come back. Once you have proton beam, you can't have it again. Too much radiation for one person in a lifetime. So maybe we'll decide to wait to see what happens.

If I don't go for radiation, I will just follow-up with Dr. Sen annually with MRIs to keep an eye on the area and make sure the little bugger isn't coming back. I need to find out the statistics on that happening.

Dr. Constantino, the ENT, was also pleased with my progress and thinks the insides of my nose are healing nicely. I will have a follow-up appointment with him in 6 months. Even though the radiologist who read my MRI thought I had chronic sinusitis, Dr. C. assures me that the inflammation is just from the surgery and will eventually go away.

I must call St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital and get a copy of my complete medical records and itemized bill of all charges. According to their patient's Bill of Rights, I am entitled to these things and I want them not only for my own records, but just as a matter of curiosity. I am desperately curious to know how much this whole brain surgery thing costs.

And P.S. I still haven't gone back to work because I need to know if I am going to Boston or not first. I'm a very anxious girl...

Perhaps I am tempting fate by writing this the evening before my MRI, but a significant part of me feels as if I have cheated the system. I am certianly not complaining about the ease with which I have sailed through my brain surgery and recovery. But so many people I have met and read about who have had brain surgery, tumors, etc., have had it much worse than I have. And my surgery was supposed to be one of the riskiest of them all.

We found my tumor early enough for me to have the luxury of doing extensive research.

I had no symptoms before my surgery.

The surgery itself went faster than expected.

The surgeon thinks he was able to remove all of the tumor.

My recovery in the hospital was swift and relatively pain free.

My time with my parents and at my own house has been a breeze.

I've had no symptoms post-surgery, either.

I have no visible scars from the surgery.

The fact that I even had brain surgery at all is very surreal to me. I hardly believe it, even when I read the surgical report. And yet, my life has been on hold for nearly a year because of this. I am so completely ready to move on. I am going to cry a lot if they tell me I have to go to Boston for 9 weeks.

I've been getting a lot done, though I know I could be doing a lot more. My sleeping patterns are still really screwy, but I'm working (not very hard) on that, and I am still mostly avoiding the less fun stuff like filing and cleaning. But all-in-all, I'm being very productive.

1. I am on Lesson 7 (Important Phrases) of my Italian CDs. I can ask how much something costs or where the train station is. I will be a great tourist one day soon. Now all I need is a trip to Italy... :)
   
   
2. I have added more to the blanket I am crocheting for Rob.
   
   
3. I have finished and hung my cork board (that is, a board made out of wine and champagne corks). If I ever got my digital camera back, I would take pictures of these sorts of things to show you all. I know you are desperate for art...
   
   
4. I have watched all but the last episode of Season 1 of Friends.
   
   
5. I have begun a cake decorating class with Liz. It's a lot of fun, and I'm not too bad at it. I suspect I will be making all upcoming birthday cakes... I'd better, actually, to justify the expense on the tools!
   
   
6. I've hung up my framed Broadway posters in my living room.
   
   
7. I've been walking more days than not.
   
   
8. I've become pretty good at making healthy smoothies and I have a freezer full of fruit to prove it.
   
   
9. I've been eating at home far more than I have been eating out.
   
   
10. My entire downstairs is spotless and 100% cleaned up and out.
    
    
11. I've purchased the materials for but not yet hung up a rod for my laundry room.
    
    
12. I've collected the DVDs spread out around my house and alphabetized them on my DVD rack. There are a lot of them, and I mysteriously have two copies of The Truth About Cats and Dogs, so if the extra belongs to you or you would like to have it, let me know.
    

Still, there is always more to do, and there are things I will kick myself for if I don't finish them before I have to go back to work, so I should get cracking on those tomorrow. Someone call me and bug me about that...

Rob and I have a double feature date night planned tomorrow. We are seeing a Sneak Peak of The Terminal and then ladyandromeda, passingfancy, shellefly, and others will join us for Stepford Wives. We've decided to all dress up in Stepford dresses, much as Star Wars fans dress up for the opening night of those movies. I don't know if I </i>have</i> a dress that qualifies, but I'll figure something out... :) Too bad my pedicure this afternoon had to be rescheduled for Saturday. It should be fun, nonetheless. We're seeing the 9:45 showing at the former Funscape, if you want to join us.

C'est tout!

There is a bug on my keyboard and I can't get rid of him. He is in between the F10 key and the = key. Oogie.

I have finally seen a cicada near my house. One squished cicada. It was sad. I saw a few others when I was visiting alannariva on Friday, but she lives in Maryland so it hardly counts.

Speaking of which, it was nice visiting with her. She looks like she's doing pretty well, though I know she must be in a lot of pain. That's why they invented pain medicine though, right? We took a short trip to the grocery store to get some Werther's Originals to soothe her throat. Werther's are so much better than cough drops or throat lozenges, if you ask me (which she did, which is why we went to get them in the first place). I hope her recovery is speedy and as comfortable as possible. We might take a trip to Crate and Barrel next week. I have a gift card to use up.

Friday night, Rob, the Albans, and I had tickets to the fourth and final show in our series at the Wilma. None of us had been terribly impressed with the first three shows, so we were quite pleasantly surprised by Jesus Hopped the A Train. The play, by Stephen Adly Guirgis, is a look at two inmates at Riker's Island who are at very different stages in their incarceration. The younger one, Angel, is going through his trial. The older one, Lucius, is awaiting transport to death row in Florida. The play explores faith and morality in a very convincing fashion without being preachy. The acting was stellar, and the show definitely made our season tickets worthwhile. We haven't decided if we will renew our subscription yet, but it's not outside the realm of possibilities.

Saturday night, we saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with arani, ladyandromeda, their beaus, and Katie. I don't want to give anything away for those who haven't seen it, but quite frankly, I was disappointed. I understand the necessity of leaving things out to turn a 500+ page book into a 2+ hour movie, but I almost think they left out too much. The first two-thirds of the movie felt incredibly rushed, like they were trying to get through the entire school year as quickly as possible so they could get to the good stuff. And I think that does a disservice to the entire school year. Though I thought the CGI they used was good, I didn't really like the images they chose to use, particularly for the dementors and for Harry's Patronus. And the kids almost never wore their robes during this movie. Are they wizards, or are they wizards? On the other hand, the movie had a much darker feeling than the first two, which was definitely a good thing, and as expected, the acting was great. I would have liked to see more Dumbledore, but I'm not sure I wouldn't have been wishing for Richard Harris if there had been. The teachers, besides Lupin, seemed to have very minor roles in this movie. In fact, it seems almost as if they are trying to make you forget that these kids are at school at all, and are just having grand adventures away from their parents. Anyway, I didn't hate it, but I was disappointed.

I have three little bald spots on my head. They are from the pins the surgeons used to hold my head still during my surgery. Though I didn't know it before-hand, they actually screwed my head down to the operating table. I'm glad I didn't know that in advance, honestly. I wonder if the hair will ever grow back there. It hasn't begun to yet, so I am thinking no. It's not like you can tell, though. I have so much hair that a few little missing patches won't kill me.

And finally, a meme stolen from shellefly:

befers's LJ stalker is ladyandromeda!

ladyandromeda is stalking you because you got better results for the 'acronym' thing than them. They are also prank calling you regularly!

I've found myself with some down time, due to the fact that I can't go back to work yet, following my brain surgery. I have a lot of projects I'm working on. I always have better follow-through when I am organized. Here's the list, in no particular order:

1. I'm learning Italian. I am trying to do one lesson each morning. So far, I've covered Basics, Basic Phrases, and Transportation Nouns. The problem with learning a language from a CD is that I have no idea how any of these words are spelled, so I may have trouble reading and writing them. I need to remedy that...
   
   
2. Finish cleaning my house. I've made very little progress on this since I got back from my parents' house. I haven't even finished unpacking yet.
   
   
3. Become a smoothie making expert. I love smoothies, and I have been making them most days for breakfast. And I'm making them in a healthy way, not in a calorie-laden way.
   
   
4. Get back on track with eating right and exercising. I've lost 16 pounds since I went to the hospital, and I intend to keep it up. I've been cooking at home much more than I used to (which is much easier when I have a clean and organized kitchen), and I have been trying to do some walking every day. I am not yet allowed to exercise fully.
   
   
5. I've been reading a lot of books. I love to read, and I think I have spent more time reading than anything else. If you have the time, check out The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason. It's a great story, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Plus, I went to high school with them, so that's kind of cool.
   
   
6. Finish my cork board. Those of you who have ever been around me when a bottle of wine or champagne is opened know that I always keep the corks. This is because I have this vision of making a cork board out of them. I finally started putting that together today, and if I don't finish it tomorrow, I will have no where to eat dinner because it is spread out all over my kitchen table.
   
   
7. Finish various crochet projects. While I was at my parents' house, I made three baby blankets and a very cool scarf for my mom for Mother's Day. I am more than halfway through the blanket I am making for Rob, and then the line for blankets is long: Dave, my mom, my brother, and probably others that I have forgotten by now. Plus, I bought yarn for all kinds of scarves for myself and for gifts. In a similar vein, I have a needlepoint piece I have been working on for the Albans for a long time, and it would be good to make some progress on that.
   
   
8. Write an inspirational book about my experiences with facing adversity. Perhaps I should join shellefly's Sunday morning write-ins. I don't generally use that time for anything more productive. I think I even have a title: All My Light Bulbs. See if you can figure out why...
   
   
9. Start volunteering again. I don't know if I will have too much time to devote to the shelter once I go back to work, but I know they could use my help now at the height of kitten season.
   
   
10. Maintain a regular sleep schedule. Ever since my surgery, I haven't been sleeping 100% well. I tried taking some sleeping pills a few nights, but they left me needing naps the next day, and I never take naps. I didn't even do it when I was a kid. But keeping to a normal schedule is what will let me have productive days. I'm not doing well with this one tonight.
    
    
11. Do some gardening. For each of the weeds that alannariva and I pulled from my flower beds before my surgery, two more have grown in their place. I need to take care of them, and plant some flowers that are sitting on my porch.
    

I know there are more things on my list, but this will do for now.

Good night!

Just a quick note to say thanks to everyone who has been checking on me, sending cards, e-mail, etc. It's really helped to keep my spirits up! My surgery went extremely well, and I am currently spending some time recovering at my parents' house in Northern Virginia. I'm going home to Delaware next weekend, most likely. I have a lot of LJ catching up to do, but I'll get there :) More information about my surgery and recovery so far can be found on a web page I created. To access it:

1. Go to http://www.TheStatus.com/
   
2. Click on Visit a Patient Page
   
3. Use Last Name Finn and password april8
   

There is lots and lots of information there, so feel free to read as much or as little as you would like.

I have just finished reading Lance Armstrong's book It's Not About the Bike, My Journey Back to Life, and I have decided that I am just like Lance.

I have admired him for some time now for a number of reasons. He is an incredible athlete; I have some interest in cycling; he accomplished amazing things after defeating extremely severe cancer. But I didn't understand just how much he has overcome until I finished reading his book. Lance doesn't pull any punches when he is talking about cancer, chemotherapy, or his feelings during his whole experience with it and recovering from it. He is blunt, brutal, and honest throughout the book. I almost didn't continue after reading the first chapter because I was afraid it would be too grizzly for me, expecially considering that I will be having brain surgery myself in 12 days. But I am glad that I did continue on and finish the book. Lance's situation is much worse than mine is, and he went through treatments that mine will not even come close to. I cannot imagine the physical agony that he described as a result of his chemotherapy treatments. His situation was dire, and he managed to not only survive it, but to also thrive afterwards, achieving more in a few short years than many people achieve in a lifetime. I can do that, too.

Almost since the beginning, I have been saying that I don't want this tumor to define the rest of my life, that once my surgery and radiation are done with, I don't want to think about it anymore. I want to move on and accomplish the great things that I know I am destined to do. Lance Armstrong, though, defines himself completely in terms of his cancer. He says that the old Lance died the day he was diagnosed, and the new Lance was born from the trials of fighting the disease. I'm still not sure that this tumor will be my re-creation (I think I have many of the qualities and much of the insight he gained through treatment already), but I think I should reconsider ignoring its impact completely. I have been saying all along that all of my issues (particularly those related to food) are contained in the tumor, and once it is removed, I will be perfect. Making healthy decisions will come easily to me, and I will lose the weight I need to in order to be healthy and thin. That in itself is incredibly empowering, mentally, and maybe that's what the tumor is giving me.

Lance also says that if he had to pick between cancer and winning the Tour de France, he would pick cancer, because living through that disease is what taught him what he now knows about life. I don't know what I will accomplish once I am finished with my tumor, but I am not sure I would make the same choice as he does. This has been a horrible speed bump in my life, and I don't yet know if I will be irreversibly changed because of it. I do know that I can handle this, and perhaps it happened to me because am strong enough to take it. Not everyone would be. Because I am the one in five million to have this tumor, someone else less able to deal with it doesn't have to. If that is my contribution to the world, if that is G-d's reasoning for why I am the one to have this tumor, then so be it. I can deal with that. I gave a unit of blood for myself on Tuesday so that if I needed it, it would be one less unit from the general supply that would have to be used for me. It's all the same thing. I have the capacity and strength to come through this with flying colors. And I will.

The final reason I am like Lance Armstrong is because we both face a challenge the same way. He says, "But if there is one thing I don't want to hear, it's that I can't do something. Telling me that is the best way to make sure I'll do it." I've been saying that for years.

I have to eat steak tonight. I need to give blood for myself tomorrow. And I didn't think about eating iron rich foods until just now. My mother, who is slightly anemic like I am, has been eating steak and other iron rich foods for the last week, despite her fear of mad cow disease and dislike of red meat, because she is giving blood for me tomorrow also and she wants to give me good blood. Why didn't I think of that? I always remember when I am giving blood to the Red Cross. How did I forget about it for myself? What if I can't give blood for myself tomorrow? What if it doesn't have enough hemoglobin? I hope this is my mental breakdown, because I am ready to cry, and I cannot spend the next two and an half weeks freaking out like this.

Friday night, Rob and I went to see a play by Charles Mee called Wintertime at the Wilma Theater with Liz and Steve. We had seen another play by Charles Mee there last year, called Big Love. They were both definitely Mee works. He is a very modern playwright, and I have found both of the plays we have seen by him to be quite influenced by the surreal. The themes he addresses are universal (love, human nature, etc.), and I've never found his messages to be very deep, but he does present them in an entertaining, if not bizarre, manner. Wintertime is about a young couple in love. The boy takes his girlfriend to his parents summer home for New Year's where he is planning to propose. But when he gets there, he finds that both his parents have chosen to go there as well, independently of one another, with their respective lovers. Comedy, of course, ensues. All in all, I enjoyed the play, though I didn't find the "twist" all that surprising. There is a quite a bit of physicality to the play, and the choreography of it is enjoyable to watch. I do think that I would get more out of it if I were to see it again.

Saturday, I did a little bit of cleaning, though not nearly enough, and then we went to shellefly and J's birthday party. It was great fun, and I finally got to meet traceyleabeezus, elissa_carey, and Amanda, who's LJ name I can't remember, but might be smittywing. Lots of other folks were there, too, and we had a good time playing Scattegories and Chrononauts, and Shelle really liked her raspberry cheesecake!

Today, alannariva came over and we did some gardening. It was hard work, but my flower beds are now nice and clean and weeded, and the mulch is refreshed and new looking. We will plant some flowers next weekend. We were too tired to do it today. I hope the weather is as nice again. Today was beautiful. alannariva has said that she is trying to take a page from my book when it comes to her illnesses. She says that she admires how I don't let it take over my life, and I must say, I have really noticed her change in attitude over the last few weeks. I've seen her lots, which is great, and she seemed much happier today than she sometimes does. It was great to hang out with her and just talk about stuff. She even offered to come mow my lawn while I am recuperating, and that is a wonderful offer.

I still have some more cleaning I would like to get done tonight, and I also intend to finish filling out my Advanced Directives. That will put me pretty close to accomplishing all the things I wanted to this weekend. Hooray!

Right now, Abby Cat is staring out the window, chittering at a red-breasted robin that I am sure she would love to chase. I love the springtime! :)

... I will wake up without a tumor (hopefully) in my head. Time is flying by, and I still have so much to do. This weekend's goals include:

1. Finishing all the paperwork I need to get done before I go to the hospital: Advanced Directives, Power of Attorney, and have those and my Will notarized. (The notarizing may have to wait until business hours.)
   
   
2. Getting a big chunk of cleaning and organizing done: Linen closet, upstairs landing, foyer, living room, kitchen, downstairs hallway, and maybe some part of my bedroom. It also might be a good idea to clean out my car.
   
   
3. Doing some yard work, if the weather co-operates. At the very least, I need to clean up my flower beds so they don't look scraggly, and if I have time, I'd like to plant some flowers. Does anyone like to garden and want to help me out with this? I should also contact the lawn guy my neighbor recommended.
   

That seems like enough for one weekend, doesn't it? shellefly and J's birthday party is also this weekend, and I am looking forward to that.

Tonight, we have tickets to The Wilma Theater with Liz and Steve. We have season tickets, and I have no idea what show it is we are even seeing tonight. The last 2 have been decent, though, and the company is always good. I'm looking forward to it.