[Cross-posted to cake_decorating]

So as you may know, I've been taking cake decorating classes. Here's a cake I made for my dad for Father's Day.

( Pictures )

Perhaps I am tempting fate by writing this the evening before my MRI, but a significant part of me feels as if I have cheated the system. I am certianly not complaining about the ease with which I have sailed through my brain surgery and recovery. But so many people I have met and read about who have had brain surgery, tumors, etc., have had it much worse than I have. And my surgery was supposed to be one of the riskiest of them all.

We found my tumor early enough for me to have the luxury of doing extensive research.

I had no symptoms before my surgery.

The surgery itself went faster than expected.

The surgeon thinks he was able to remove all of the tumor.

My recovery in the hospital was swift and relatively pain free.

My time with my parents and at my own house has been a breeze.

I've had no symptoms post-surgery, either.

I have no visible scars from the surgery.

The fact that I even had brain surgery at all is very surreal to me. I hardly believe it, even when I read the surgical report. And yet, my life has been on hold for nearly a year because of this. I am so completely ready to move on. I am going to cry a lot if they tell me I have to go to Boston for 9 weeks.

I've found myself with some down time, due to the fact that I can't go back to work yet, following my brain surgery. I have a lot of projects I'm working on. I always have better follow-through when I am organized. Here's the list, in no particular order:

1. I'm learning Italian. I am trying to do one lesson each morning. So far, I've covered Basics, Basic Phrases, and Transportation Nouns. The problem with learning a language from a CD is that I have no idea how any of these words are spelled, so I may have trouble reading and writing them. I need to remedy that...
   
   
2. Finish cleaning my house. I've made very little progress on this since I got back from my parents' house. I haven't even finished unpacking yet.
   
   
3. Become a smoothie making expert. I love smoothies, and I have been making them most days for breakfast. And I'm making them in a healthy way, not in a calorie-laden way.
   
   
4. Get back on track with eating right and exercising. I've lost 16 pounds since I went to the hospital, and I intend to keep it up. I've been cooking at home much more than I used to (which is much easier when I have a clean and organized kitchen), and I have been trying to do some walking every day. I am not yet allowed to exercise fully.
   
   
5. I've been reading a lot of books. I love to read, and I think I have spent more time reading than anything else. If you have the time, check out The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason. It's a great story, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Plus, I went to high school with them, so that's kind of cool.
   
   
6. Finish my cork board. Those of you who have ever been around me when a bottle of wine or champagne is opened know that I always keep the corks. This is because I have this vision of making a cork board out of them. I finally started putting that together today, and if I don't finish it tomorrow, I will have no where to eat dinner because it is spread out all over my kitchen table.
   
   
7. Finish various crochet projects. While I was at my parents' house, I made three baby blankets and a very cool scarf for my mom for Mother's Day. I am more than halfway through the blanket I am making for Rob, and then the line for blankets is long: Dave, my mom, my brother, and probably others that I have forgotten by now. Plus, I bought yarn for all kinds of scarves for myself and for gifts. In a similar vein, I have a needlepoint piece I have been working on for the Albans for a long time, and it would be good to make some progress on that.
   
   
8. Write an inspirational book about my experiences with facing adversity. Perhaps I should join shellefly's Sunday morning write-ins. I don't generally use that time for anything more productive. I think I even have a title: All My Light Bulbs. See if you can figure out why...
   
   
9. Start volunteering again. I don't know if I will have too much time to devote to the shelter once I go back to work, but I know they could use my help now at the height of kitten season.
   
   
10. Maintain a regular sleep schedule. Ever since my surgery, I haven't been sleeping 100% well. I tried taking some sleeping pills a few nights, but they left me needing naps the next day, and I never take naps. I didn't even do it when I was a kid. But keeping to a normal schedule is what will let me have productive days. I'm not doing well with this one tonight.
    
    
11. Do some gardening. For each of the weeds that alannariva and I pulled from my flower beds before my surgery, two more have grown in their place. I need to take care of them, and plant some flowers that are sitting on my porch.
    

I know there are more things on my list, but this will do for now.

Good night!

I have to eat steak tonight. I need to give blood for myself tomorrow. And I didn't think about eating iron rich foods until just now. My mother, who is slightly anemic like I am, has been eating steak and other iron rich foods for the last week, despite her fear of mad cow disease and dislike of red meat, because she is giving blood for me tomorrow also and she wants to give me good blood. Why didn't I think of that? I always remember when I am giving blood to the Red Cross. How did I forget about it for myself? What if I can't give blood for myself tomorrow? What if it doesn't have enough hemoglobin? I hope this is my mental breakdown, because I am ready to cry, and I cannot spend the next two and an half weeks freaking out like this.

The One and Only Replace Beth's Tumor Party was yesterday and I am a very fortunate girl. It was wonderful, and marvelous, and I was so happy to be surrounded by my friends and family, celebrating me. (Yes, perhaps the whole thing is a little egotistical, but I think I deserve that... I am going to have brain surgery, after all!) Apparently, there were a few people who could not see the humor and benefit of having a party like this. They thought I was saying goodbye to everyone I love, or something morbid like that. But in fact, the complete opposite is true. That party yesterday really was a celebration of me. Everyone showed me how special I really am, how creative, how much love I give to them. It touched me very deeply to have all of that love showered back upon me all at once. It's funny; I knew I would cry, but it never occurred to me to bring some tissues. (Liz and Steve of course had some, but that's not the point!) That is probably the only detail I didn't think about! Every other detail of that party was meticulously thought out. And it was perfect.

( Don't you want to know more? )

All-in-all, I am so glad I had this party. Brain surgery is the kind of thing that is so serious that you must laugh at it to keep things in perspective. It would be very easy to let it take over my life, but I refuse to do that. In fact, J. K. Rowling teaches this lesson very well in the Harry Potter books. Harry and the gang are facing a boggart in their Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. The boggart is a creature that takes the shape of whatever you most fear. To conquer it, you must picture this fearsome thing in a rediculous situation so that you can laught at it. Coming up with things to replace my tumor with is just like Neville picturing Professor Snape in his grandmother's clothes. "Ridiculous!"

It was so busy, and I found no time to write. This last week has been a crazy whirlwind.

( The details )

Shelle told me that traceyleabeezus wanted to meet me after reading my LiveJournal, so I'm adding her to my friend list. Hi!

And I so do not want to be at work. I really want to go biking. The first signs of spring always make me feel this way. This weather - mid-60's and sunny - is perfect. I could live in weather like this all year long. Anyone know where in the world those conditions exist? :)

Alright, so it's also the first day of March, and like shellefly, I am going to start setting up goals for the month each month.

This month, I want to:

1. Completely organize and clean out the clutter in my house. I have so much stuff, and much of it is still in boxes. Do I really need it if it's been in boxes for the last two years? No? I didn't think so. And I desperately want my house to be organized and presentable before I go for surgery in April.
   
   
2. Complete bunches of paperwork that no 27 year-old should normally have to think about:
   
   1. Living Will/Power of Attorney for Healthcare aka Advanced Directives in Delaware: a conversation last month with my rabbi helped, but these are still hard decisions to make.
      
   2. Will: Completed. I just need to get it notarized properly.
      
   3. Apply for Long Term Care Insurance: Done! In some strange twist of fate, my company added this new benefit this year, and I can apply with no questions asked until March 5. I guess I'll pay them every month for the rest of my life starting now, because I doubt I will ever qualify when they do ask questions.
      
   4. Power of Attorney for Finances: This is the only one that I can't seem to find good information on via the Internet. The Delaware State website has good info on all the others. I also need to check with my bank to see if the Power of Attorney is enough for someone to access my accounts, or if I need to make them joint account holders.
      
   
   
3. Get copies of my house keys made so people can come check on my 2 cats while I am in New York.
   
   
4. Work related:
   
   1. Finish BR30 for Network Equipment
      
   2. Create Maintenance Plan Spreadsheet
      
   3. Formulate plan for keeping connected to work while I am out
      
   4. Figure out what I am going to tell my co-workers to explain why I will be out for five months
      
   
   
5. Finish planning my Replace Beth's Tumor Party: I have a few more prizes to get, and Liz and I need to finalize the menu.
   

And that's probably quite enough to keep me busy!

1. What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
I used to date this guy named Chris Nelson (though this took place after we stopped dating and were just friends). I also used to know the guy who runs the band Live's web site. He used to get me photo passes for their shows whenever they were in town so I could take pictures of their east coast shows to send him. Chris desperately wanted to take pictures, too, and he somehow managed to convince me to sneak him in. It could have been the end of my photo-pass getting career, but fortunately, it wasn't :)

2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of?
There's nothing, really. Seeking approval from my mother is a hobby :)

3. On a scale of 1-10, what's your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it's a lifestyle)
3. Although I firmly believe that the biggest risk is not taking one, I have never been in to taking stupid risks, like sex with strangers and doing drugs. I am willing to take risks to get something I want, though. Of course, I lead a charmed existence, and I usually get what I want anyway!

4. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky?
Rob kissed me back.

5. ... and what's the worst?
I can't say that I've ever had a risk I've taken go wrong. It's that whole charmed existence thing.